I had this notion in my head from your ultrasounds that you would need surgery for your duodenal atresia but that's all. I know there was a possibility the duodenal atresia could be linked to Downs Syndrome, but I had convinced myself you didn't have it because Dr. Huff never saw any signs of it on any of your ultrasounds.
Tuesday morning after your Mommy had been given a round of iv antibiotics, I wheeled her up to see you.
I don't remember who came to talk to us first, but someone did, and wanted us to know you were being tested for Downs Syndrome. The doctor had seen some physical characteristics of Downs and ordered the tests to be sure. The events of that day are a bit of a blur now. I remember every doctor or nurse who came to talk to us, first asked us if we had already been made aware of the Downs. I remember thinking and saying to your Mommy, that I can't see it and we asked the nurse to show us the physical signs they saw. Because of your Mommy's research, she knew what to look for, and after being made aware of the characteristics in you, she then could see what the doctors saw all along.
The finger curved so cutely, apparently ready for tea parties with Grammy and Nana is actually a characteristic of the Downs:
Your beautifully shaped eyes are another characteristic that I still only see sometimes and I never see when you're asleep:
Your right hand has one crease straight across and a curved crease around the base of your thumb unlike the 3-4 creases on most hands and like your left hand has.
I didn't want to see the characteristics that meant something was wrong. I wanted you to be perfect. And you know what, you are perfect in every imaginable way. God made you and God has a plan for you. Every doctor who talks to us about Downs tells us that children with Downs are the most loving children we will ever meet. We have been told how blessed our family is, how blessed we are that God chose us to raise such a special little baby girl. And they are all so right. Your Mommy has been so amazing. God placed you in the care of an awesome Mommy who is going to take such wonderful care of you.
I never realized until you that Downs Syndrome can be such a blessing to a family. I look forward to getting to know you, watching you grow, and learning all I can to help you develop.
I thought there might be things you can't do, and I'm learning more and more that just isn't the case. You can do everything, just some things take a little longer than they might for a child without Downs.
What a blessing you are to us!